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(DISCLAIMER: im not sure where this is going, everything will move along as i come with really crazy shit in my mind. enjoy reading <3)


Aqua: kads im going to the grocery store

Tyler: ok

Cabbage: But then I have to deal with Noah fapping :(

Tyler: don't worry we can hide in our closet

Cabbage: Ok

Aqua: drives away bye!!!!!!!!!!

[hears various noises]

Cabbage: Screams what's going on [opens door] WHAT THE FUCK

Noah: [laying on the bed, dead]

Cabbage: I think he died from fapping too much

Tyler: stop

Cabbage: Jk let's call mom [dials up Aqua] Hi

Aqua: WHAT DO YOU WANT BITCH

Cabbage: Noah died

Berry: [walks in] Hi guys... wait WHAT? [points to Noah's dead body]

Tyler: He died :/

Berry: wtf how

Cabbage: [puts phone down] I think he was fapping to Neal too much anyways HUSH I'm on the phone. [puts phone up] Hi

Aqua: hi

Cabbage: Hi did you hear Noah just died on his bed

Aqua: WHAT THE FUCK. CABBAGE I'M GIVING YOU A SPANKING WHEN I GET HOME.

Cabbage: Ah [throws phone out the window and breaks]

Berry: Cabbage what was that for. Now we have to pay for a new window!

Tyler: um noah DIED

Cabbage: ^

Berry: Ok true. Aqua gonna be mad though

Tyler: oh shit where's bitch the dog im supposed to feed it today. BITCH!!!!

Cabbage: Bitch ran away

Tyler: WHAT THE FUCK why did no one tell me this

Cabbage: Oops xd

Aqua: parks car

Berry: oh no

Aqua: walks in

Cabbage: Rip me

Tyler: sending prayers

Aqua: spanks cab HOW COULD YOU

Cabbage: IT WASN'T ME I SWEAR ON HOPE DRISKILL AND SIERRA DAWN THOMAS.

Aqua: ok but who did this

Tyler: not me i swear on Kimmi Kappenberg and Penny Ramsey

Berry: no not me either I swear on Morgan McLeod and Amanda Kimmel.

Tikki: I'm from Ireland.

Cabbage: SHUT UP YOU WHORE [slaps him]

Tyler: screaming

Cabbage: O

Aqua: CABBAGE. thats it go to ur room

Cabbage: No nono nononononnonnon A

A

A

a

a

A

a

A

A

a

A

a

A

A

A

Aqua: shut up im calling police. calls police. hi this is aqua

Mirnish: [picks up phone] Hi babe <3

Aqua: so like noah was killed help!!!!!!

Mirnish: Oh.

Aqua: so like u need to do something about it

Mirnish: Ok. Well, bye love you boo <3 [hangs up]

Aqua: [hangs up]

Milk: wait what happened

Mirnish: Noah died or something and we need to find out what happened

Milk: oh :/ why bother tbh

Mirnish: Bc it's our job and we get paid for this

Milk: [sighs] w/e


Outside of the House

Milk: [knocks on door]

Aqua: opens door as the door flies off crushing milk HI.

Milk: [crushed by door]

Aqua: o shit

Cabbage: Ofc

Mirnish: [laughs]

Milk: [muffled sound] HELP ME BITCH

Aqua: oops throws door as it knocks over TDN in the side of the head

TDN: *knocked over by the door FUCK

Milk: [gets up] Thanks [rolls eyes]

Mirnish: Hi, we're here to investigate your home.

Aqua: yes ik that u live here

Mirnish: Where's Noahoe?

Tyler: [points] Right th-

[Noah's body is missing]

Berry: Wtf I swear it was right there

Mirnish: Mhm funny joke don't lie to me AGAIN >:(((((( maybe I'll consider filling out divorce papers

Aqua: NO NONJNONIJMONNB KIOKOONNONKNONONONONOONONONONO cries

Mirnish: Jk ily <3

Aqua: <3

Tikki: I'm from Ireland

Cabbage: SHUT UP.

Tikki: :(

Mirnish: [examines boy] Mhmmmm he's dead

Tyler: thought so

Cabbage: Well, he wasn't moving, so..

Berry: Any suspects?

Milk: [examines body some more] yall have any cameras?

Berry: Yeah, one right here. We've always just had around.

Milk: Alright, that should probably find out what happened. yall dumbasses for not thinking about checking the cameras earlier tbh

Cabbage: [rolls eyes]


Video

[a person wearing a black hat, black shirt, black pants, etc. approaches an alone Noah. There, they stab him in the chest and run quickly and quietly out of the house. Noah lies dead on the bed.]

Milk: how the fuck did yall not hear this

Tyler: We were in the hallway...

Milk: I DON'T WANT EXCUSES.

Cabbage: But that's the truth.

Berry: Yeah.

Aqua: ok so it wasn't any of u guys CAB ur ungrounded

Cabbage: Yay

Mirnish: [rewatches the video] Hmmm I think we have some suspects.

Berry: Good, I wanna know who would've done this.


Police Station

RJ: Hoe

Fiz: wtf y am i a supect

Kendall: no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Izzy: Ugh

Spirit: WTF

Mirnish: Shut up. One of you killed Noahoe and we're going to find out who.

Milk: it's our job

Fiz: ok but I didnt kill him

Milk: [ignores Fiz] ok we're going to talk to everyone individually

Izzy: I didn't kill Noah wtf why am I here

Mirnish: WE'LL GET TO YOU LATER >:(

Izzy: [sighs] Whatever.


Milk Interviews the Suspects

Milk: Hi RJ. Where were you at 3:00 PM this afternoon?

RJ: I was jamming out to Beyonce and twerking in my kitchen.

Milk: believable. ok next. Fiz where were YOU at 3:00 PM

Fiz: sucks

Milk: [sighs] Izzy?

Izzy: I was binge listening to Melanie Martinez and Lana del Rey <3 Queens tbh <3

Milk: [visibly mad] [to self] ffs all this makes sense though. Kendall?

Kendall: writing my next fanfiction

Milk: You gonna finish it?

Kendall: no

Milk: Thought so. Spirit?

Spirit: go away i dont want to talk to u

Milk: just answer the question, you're a suspect of murder

Spirit: Well all u ever are is an asshole to me so I'll just be an asshole to you.

Milk: grow up and stop being petty - answer the question NOW.

Spirit: no

Milk: Fine. You're under arrest

Spirit: WTF I didn't kill him

Milk: maybe you should've answered the question. security!

Bulba: [puts Spirit's left hand in the handcuffs, locks it]

Maria: [puts Spirit's right hand in the handcuffs, locks it]

Bulba and Maria: [take Spirit away]

Spirit: I'LL GET MY REVENGE BITCH.

Milk: [ignores Spirit] ur all free to go btw

RJ: Good.


Family Home

Mirnish: k so milks arrested spirit u can thank us later

Aqua: thnx

Mirnish: Love you boo <3

Aqua: <3 kads we're going to dairy queen to celebrate

Tyler: Celebrate? What..

Aqua: shut the fuck up we're getting Dairy Queen

Cabbage: Yay

Berry: [gets in car]

Cabbage: [gets in car]

Tyler: [gets in car]

Mirnish: [gets in car]

Tikki: [gets in car]

Aqua: gets in

Tyler: Make sure to watch out what's in front of you

Aqua: don't worry i will!!! drives. drives. drives.

Cabbage: AH IT'S TDN

Berry: LOOK OUT!

TDN: WHAT THE FU- [run over]

Aqua: shit

Mirnish: THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO

Aqua: i didn't mean to!! shit is he ok

TDN: [unconcious] ...damn IT AQUA

Cabbage: [kicks TDN] oops

Tyler: im screaming

[ambulance arrives]

Epic: [gets out a stretcher] [puts TDN on it, and drives away]

Mirnish: if you killed him then you're gonna be arrested btw

Aqua: shit

Tikki: I'm from Ireland

Cabbage: SHUT THE FUCK UP


Hospital

TDN: [sleeping]

Epic: He's doing alright. Aqua wtf did you do though

Aqua: i was going to dairy queen with my family then i ran him over

Epic: Was it on purpose?

Aqua: yes

Mirnish: Interesting

Cabbage: ^

Epic: Uh... that's, interesting I guess.

Aqua: oh shit

Epic: What

Aqua: [thinks about something VERY important but doesn't tell] nothing

Berry: aqua did you leave the oven on when left

Aqua: FUCK brb [runs out]


Family House

[House is on fire]

Aqua: NO [runs in and grabs everything that belongs to him, runs outside and throws it in car] [runs back in, grabs Ruby and Rojo Lipstick] [looks at the oven] Wait a minute... the oven's off... [shrugs, forgets everything else, leaves the house as it comes down in flames]

[someone wearing a black hat, black shirt, black pants, etc. is shown exiting the home laughing like a Disney villain]


Hospital

Aqua: [out of breath]

Cabbage: Hi

Aqua: guys our house burned down

Berry: :O i told you to turn the oven off!

Aqua: But it was.

Berry: ... what?

Aqua: The oven WAS off. I grabbed my personal shit, and Ruby and Rojo.

Cabbage: Yay

Tyler: Yay

Mirnish: Yay- wait, what about everything else

Aqua: oops

Mirnish: [eye roll] k.

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