(DISCLAIMER: im not sure where this is going, everything will move along as i come with really crazy shit in my mind. enjoy reading <3)
Aqua: kads im going to the grocery store
Cabbage: But then I have to deal with Noah fapping :(
Tyler: don't worry we can hide in our closet
Aqua: drives away bye!!!!!!!!!!
[hears various noises]
Cabbage: Screams what's going on [opens door] WHAT THE FUCK
Noah: [laying on the bed, dead]
Cabbage: I think he died from fapping too much
Cabbage: Jk let's call mom [dials up Aqua] Hi
Aqua: WHAT DO YOU WANT BITCH
Cabbage: Noah died
Berry: [walks in] Hi guys... wait WHAT? [points to Noah's dead body]
Tyler: He died :/
Berry: wtf how
Cabbage: [puts phone down] I think he was fapping to Neal too much anyways HUSH I'm on the phone. [puts phone up] Hi
Cabbage: Hi did you hear Noah just died on his bed
Aqua: WHAT THE FUCK. CABBAGE I'M GIVING YOU A SPANKING WHEN I GET HOME.
Cabbage: Ah [throws phone out the window and breaks]
Berry: Cabbage what was that for. Now we have to pay for a new window!
Tyler: um noah DIED
Berry: Ok true. Aqua gonna be mad though
Tyler: oh shit where's bitch the dog im supposed to feed it today. BITCH!!!!
Cabbage: Bitch ran away
Tyler: WHAT THE FUCK why did no one tell me this
Cabbage: Oops xd
Aqua: parks car
Berry: oh no
Aqua: walks in
Cabbage: Rip me
Tyler: sending prayers
Aqua: spanks cab HOW COULD YOU
Cabbage: IT WASN'T ME I SWEAR ON HOPE DRISKILL AND SIERRA DAWN THOMAS.
Aqua: ok but who did this
Tyler: not me i swear on Kimmi Kappenberg and Penny Ramsey
Berry: no not me either I swear on Morgan McLeod and Amanda Kimmel.
Tikki: I'm from Ireland.
Cabbage: SHUT UP YOU WHORE [slaps him]
Aqua: CABBAGE. thats it go to ur room
Cabbage: No nono nononononnonnon A
Aqua: shut up im calling police. calls police. hi this is aqua
Mirnish: [picks up phone] Hi babe <3
Aqua: so like noah was killed help!!!!!!
Aqua: so like u need to do something about it
Mirnish: Ok. Well, bye love you boo <3 [hangs up]
Aqua: [hangs up]
Milk: wait what happened
Mirnish: Noah died or something and we need to find out what happened
Milk: oh :/ why bother tbh
Mirnish: Bc it's our job and we get paid for this
Milk: [sighs] w/e
Outside of the House
Milk: [knocks on door]
Aqua: opens door as the door flies off crushing milk HI.
Milk: [crushed by door]
Aqua: o shit
Milk: [muffled sound] HELP ME BITCH
Aqua: oops throws door as it knocks over TDN in the side of the head
TDN: *knocked over by the door FUCK
Milk: [gets up] Thanks [rolls eyes]
Mirnish: Hi, we're here to investigate your home.
Aqua: yes ik that u live here
Mirnish: Where's Noahoe?
Tyler: [points] Right th-
[Noah's body is missing]
Berry: Wtf I swear it was right there
Mirnish: Mhm funny joke don't lie to me AGAIN >:(((((( maybe I'll consider filling out divorce papers
Aqua: NO NONJNONIJMONNB KIOKOONNONKNONONONONOONONONONO cries
Mirnish: Jk ily <3
Tikki: I'm from Ireland
Cabbage: SHUT UP.
Mirnish: [examines boy] Mhmmmm he's dead
Tyler: thought so
Cabbage: Well, he wasn't moving, so..
Berry: Any suspects?
Milk: [examines body some more] yall have any cameras?
Berry: Yeah, one right here. We've always just had around.
Milk: Alright, that should probably find out what happened. yall dumbasses for not thinking about checking the cameras earlier tbh
Cabbage: [rolls eyes]
[a person wearing a black hat, black shirt, black pants, etc. approaches an alone Noah. There, they stab him in the chest and run quickly and quietly out of the house. Noah lies dead on the bed.]
Milk: how the fuck did yall not hear this
Tyler: We were in the hallway...
Milk: I DON'T WANT EXCUSES.
Cabbage: But that's the truth.
Aqua: ok so it wasn't any of u guys CAB ur ungrounded
Mirnish: [rewatches the video] Hmmm I think we have some suspects.
Berry: Good, I wanna know who would've done this.
Fiz: wtf y am i a supect
Mirnish: Shut up. One of you killed Noahoe and we're going to find out who.
Milk: it's our job
Fiz: ok but I didnt kill him
Milk: [ignores Fiz] ok we're going to talk to everyone individually
Izzy: I didn't kill Noah wtf why am I here
Mirnish: WE'LL GET TO YOU LATER >:(
Izzy: [sighs] Whatever.
Milk Interviews the Suspects
Milk: Hi RJ. Where were you at 3:00 PM this afternoon?
RJ: I was jamming out to Beyonce and twerking in my kitchen.
Milk: believable. ok next. Fiz where were YOU at 3:00 PM
Milk: [sighs] Izzy?
Izzy: I was binge listening to Melanie Martinez and Lana del Rey <3 Queens tbh <3
Milk: [visibly mad] [to self] ffs all this makes sense though. Kendall?
Kendall: writing my next fanfiction
Milk: You gonna finish it?
Milk: Thought so. Spirit?
Spirit: go away i dont want to talk to u
Milk: just answer the question, you're a suspect of murder
Spirit: Well all u ever are is an asshole to me so I'll just be an asshole to you.
Milk: grow up and stop being petty - answer the question NOW.
Milk: Fine. You're under arrest
Spirit: WTF I didn't kill him
Milk: maybe you should've answered the question. security!
Bulba: [puts Spirit's left hand in the handcuffs, locks it]
Maria: [puts Spirit's right hand in the handcuffs, locks it]
Bulba and Maria: [take Spirit away]
Spirit: I'LL GET MY REVENGE BITCH.
Milk: [ignores Spirit] ur all free to go btw
Mirnish: k so milks arrested spirit u can thank us later
Mirnish: Love you boo <3
Aqua: <3 kads we're going to dairy queen to celebrate
Tyler: Celebrate? What..
Aqua: shut the fuck up we're getting Dairy Queen
Berry: [gets in car]
Cabbage: [gets in car]
Tyler: [gets in car]
Mirnish: [gets in car]
Tikki: [gets in car]
Aqua: gets in
Tyler: Make sure to watch out what's in front of you
Aqua: don't worry i will!!! drives. drives. drives.
Cabbage: AH IT'S TDN
Berry: LOOK OUT!
TDN: WHAT THE FU- [run over]
Mirnish: THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO
Aqua: i didn't mean to!! shit is he ok
TDN: [unconcious] ...damn IT AQUA
Cabbage: [kicks TDN] oops
Tyler: im screaming
Epic: [gets out a stretcher] [puts TDN on it, and drives away]
Mirnish: if you killed him then you're gonna be arrested btw
Tikki: I'm from Ireland
Cabbage: SHUT THE FUCK UP
Epic: He's doing alright. Aqua wtf did you do though
Aqua: i was going to dairy queen with my family then i ran him over
Epic: Was it on purpose?
Epic: Uh... that's, interesting I guess.
Aqua: oh shit
Aqua: [thinks about something VERY important but doesn't tell] nothing
Berry: aqua did you leave the oven on when left
Aqua: FUCK brb [runs out]
[House is on fire]
Aqua: NO [runs in and grabs everything that belongs to him, runs outside and throws it in car] [runs back in, grabs Ruby and Rojo Lipstick] [looks at the oven] Wait a minute... the oven's off... [shrugs, forgets everything else, leaves the house as it comes down in flames]
[someone wearing a black hat, black shirt, black pants, etc. is shown exiting the home laughing like a Disney villain]
Aqua: [out of breath]
Aqua: guys our house burned down
Berry: :O i told you to turn the oven off!
Aqua: But it was.
Berry: ... what?
Aqua: The oven WAS off. I grabbed my personal shit, and Ruby and Rojo.
Mirnish: Yay- wait, what about everything else
Mirnish: [eye roll] k.